The Beginning

Hi, this is the beginning of hopefully a key insight into the typical life of a teenage kid. I’m not sure if I’m creating this blog in order to push my voice out, or whether it some sort of self-support. I know the likelihood of someone stumbling across this post is very unlikely yet despite this I will try to keep anonymous. So in that case I’m going to change certain details of these posts in order to basically not get bullied for blogging. I’m going to try and post these short posts as unedited as possible and keep them more like a chain of thoughts, so please do excuse all grammatical errors.

Anyway, hello once again and welcome to my blog, for the first insight into my life I thought I’d start with something that maybe can relate to some people my age, and that of course is the struggle with coping with the opposite sex. Throughout my adolescent life I’ve really not been the best around girls. And by not the best I mean easily the worst out of my cluster of friends. Every group seems to have the stereotypical members. You always have the one that seems to go through relationships like there’s no tomorrow, the one that for some reason girls have a sweet spot for, the one that has been in a relationship for what feels like forever. And then there’s me, the one that never quite managed to fit in. Girls never really took much interest in me, since as far back as i can remember really. To be honest for the majority of time I was fine with it, didn’t really bother me in the slightest. However, there’s always a sprinkle of  moments where you feel it, and it is not anger, not being upset. just the feeling of being alone. Walking through college corridors, wearing a back pack, bulging in a sense that makes me seem like a year 7 who has PE. You see the occasional glance from people sat down, you make that awkward 1 second eye contact before turning your head away so violently it is a surprise to not snap your own neck. When you’re sat there in groups during lesson you want to introduce yourself to the pretty girl sat opposite you, but for some reason you can’t. You want to complement her hair, eyes clothes, anything about her. But there’s your biggest enemy in the back of your own head. The voice that tells you “what are you thinking? She’ll never be interested with a guy like you”.

So you shut yourself off to it, you try to ignore the clear giggles and whispers that cascade from people’s mouths, in a voice that they think you can’t hear. But you can, you capture those words and all it does is knock the stuffing out of you. You always try to put on that brave face when others are around, but once your like me sat alone and decide to do something, in my case start this blog in an attempt to try to let these emotions out. The most difficult part is being embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. You look around at he friends you share the lunch table with and you look around the family dinner table and there is no one there to discuss these problems with.

Chapter 1, Part 1

Hopefully people enjoyed this short insight into my life, i promise you it’s not all this doom and gloom and the next post I make will be on a happier topic.
Thanks for reading 🙂

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